Life is all about ups and downs and marriage also faces this problem.
Marriage is the most beautiful part of life, when we get married we expect a lot of things from our partner, but sometimes nothing goes right and marriage breaks on a sour note.
The most important thing to keep your married life happy is the understanding between you and your partner, adjustment on little things can save your marriage.
Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. When things get tough and couples don’t know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude, and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.
We share some common problems which make your married life bitter!
1. Extra weight
Most newlyweds gain a significant amount of weight after their wedding. Scientists from the University of Glasgow held research and came to the conclusion that newly married couples gain about 3-5 lb within the first year of their married life. In general, married people weigh 13 lb more than those who are single. Very often, the weight gain is connected with the state of psychological comfort because partners are confident in each other and therefore, let themselves relax a bit.
Solution
Losing weight together is easier than it might seem because there will always be a person next to you sharing in your strife for a healthier lifestyle. However, nutritionists warn that men lose weight faster and it can cause some disappointment in women. The best way to get back into shape is to ride a bike, climb, and walk in the evenings.
2. The birth of children leads to a financial crisis
The birth of children leads to money-related issues in a new family. Parents are quite often not prepared to have children and it doesn’t rely upon their money-related standing.
Solution
Begin setting aside extra cash sometime before welcoming your first child and do away of superfluous costs. The extra spend has to go. For instance, it will be less expensive to purchase a second-hand kid buggy, a lodging, and apparel, while an infant walker, a child transporter, and a melodic auto are not important to purchase by any means. So, plan ahead of time and prioritize.
3. Conflicts with the mother-in-law
The connection between the “daughter in law and mother in law ” or the “son-in-law and mother in law by marriage” has been for centuries been a part and parcel of married life. Clinicians say that such connections can be very dramatic and can even damage the well-being and mental health of the two parties.
Solution
The most ideal approach to dodge clashes with your mother and father in law is to live independently. Maybe at first living separately can be more troublesome yet it is justified, despite all the trouble. With that being said, if don’t have a chance to live independently, you would do well to utilize your discretionary skill and disclose to your significant other how vexed you get about the fights and arguments with his mom.
4. You spend money differently.
According to statistics, one of the first reasons for a divorce are conflicts over money. After the wedding, your personal finances become joined and it becomes stressful for many — especially if one of the spouses earns more than the other. Unfortunately, due to “imaginary” generosity, couples tend to avoid talking about finances.
Solution
Financial experts recommend discussing financial issues openly, without any shyness. You need to set priorities: will your family save money or invest it? Are you planning to make a repair or go on a vacation next year? Answering such questions will help you determine the financial strategy of your family for many years ahead.
5. You get annoyed by the habits of your partner
There is an opinion that spouses should spend all their free time together because it strengthens the relationship and contributes to shaping up common interests. However, some couples get irritated after living this kind of life for a couple of years.
Solution
Both partners should have their own hobbies that aren’t interesting to the other (of course, those hobbies and interests shouldn’t be destructive). There is nothing bad in you spending your weekend separately, it only contributes to strengthening the relationship.
6. Forgetting about important dates
A partner’s forgetfulness can make you feel sad because sometimes it is perceived as a personal insult. How can your beloved forget about your wedding day, the birthday of your lovely granny or the day of your first kiss? Turns out, even perfect people forget about important things — it can be due to a work overload or natural absent-mindedness. It can also be because those dates are not actually that significant for your spouse because the most important thing in their life is your relationship and not marks on the calendar.
Solution
Remind your partner about important dates and events in your family’s life. It will help you avoid disappointment and your partner won’t feel shameful for their absent-mindedness.
7. You’re bored.
The first year of marriage doesn’t always look like a magical honeymoon. Sooner or later, despite expectations, the number of flowers, romantic evenings and flirty conversations start to decrease, leaving partners with a boring routine. This disappointment can be explained by the increased expectations of both partners as well as the lack of life experience. Nevertheless, most couples manage to cope with such changes in their relationship.
Solution
Priorities of married people differ from those who are newly in love — now you have a common household, a mortgage, and perhaps, children. Due to all these things, spouses need to discuss going on a romantic date or arranging other bright events in advance. Psychologists claim that there is nothing unusual in it — the family life is all about sticking to a certain schedule and distributing duties. Plan to go on dates, romantic meetings, or to the movies — it will help you keep that spark in your relationship.
8. Household duties are unevenly distributed
Despite living in the 21st century, stereotypes about the division of labor by gender are still there in many families, a woman must maintain a home’s coziness (even if she works all day long), while a man must bring home the bacon. Such positions can lead to insults and confrontations.
Solutions
Discuss questions about the division of household chores before the marriage. And of course, try to take the best from the epoch of scientific and technical progress you’re living in, dishwashers, multi-cookers, and bread makers can help solve many household issues. Moreover, if you start using the service of automatic payments for home utilities, the debates about whose turn it is to pay another electricity bill will not even arise
9. Bad friends
Not only do husband and wife get new relatives they get friends also. Frequently, the companions of either spouse aren’t invited to the new family. In a new marriage, it may appear as though friends take up excessively space in the family’s life and that they impact the partner badly.
Solution
Give your second half a large portion of a chance to have a close friend who isn’t you. It very well may be hard to acknowledge this idea yet it may be great for them to speak with other individuals. Friends are imperative for keeping great connections inside the family.
10. You have different sleeping regimens
In the ’70s, scientists learned about circadian rhythms and found that there were so-called larks who wake up early in the morning, active and full of energy. Conversely, there were also owls who were more active in the evening. What if the representatives of these 2 groups decide to create a family? This union can cause some inconveniences and can even be bad for one’s health.
Solution
Different biological rhythms disturb a happy marriage in no way, as long as both people can manage to find a compromise. For example, while your spouse is sleeping, you can do many tasks that will be beneficial for the family.
11. You’ve started to argue over trifles.
Psychologists claim that crises happen in every marriage — they happen when the dissatisfaction of partners reaches its peak. However, there are advantages in crises too — they give you a chance to refresh the relationship and shift it to a new level. Has your kind, conflict-free partner turned into a furious person and started to argue over trifles, while your home turned into a battlefield? Sorry to inform you, but it’s likely that your behavior is far from being perfect as well.
Solution
Don’t try to change your partner; such attempts only lead to a surge of indignation. Instead, learn to listen to their opinion. Unfortunately, people close to each other can hurt each other more because they know each other’s vulnerable spots. That’s why patience and respect to your partner’s feelings are the things that will get your marriage out of a crisis.
12. He stares at other girls
Has your partner started to show his interest in someone else? Should it be a reason for a crazy scandal or should such actions go unnoticed? There is no single answer to this question. Some people claim that feeling worried about your partner looking at other women is the problem of the person who is worried, while other people are sure that it’s a sign of an upcoming crisis in a relationship. Many men have a different opinion — they don’t see anything bad in their evaluative looks and claim these looks have nothing to do with a wish to cheat on their wives.
Solution
Don’t keep silent and inform your partner about your dissatisfaction. Perhaps he really didn’t think about anything bad and the reason lies in your own self-doubt.
Do you agree with our list? Is there anything you would like to add? Please tell us about it in the ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛs!
References; brightside.me, smalljoys.tv
