Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me.
She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night.
She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market.”
“Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically,” remarked his friend.
“I’m not bitter.
Now that I’m so improved, she just isn’t good enough for me.
After coming into the Pub, an elderly driver immediately placed his order.
“I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.”, he said.
Not wanting to appear stupid, the brand new waitress went to the kitchen and said to the cook
“This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, Highway truck parts or something?”
‘No,’ the cook said.
‘Three flat tires… Mean three pancakes; a pair of headlights… Is two eggs sunny side up; and a pair of running boards… Are2 slices of crisp bacon!
‘Oh… OK!’ said the lady. After she thought about it for a moment, she spooned up a bowl of baked beans and gave it to the customer.
‘What are the beans for, Love?’, the truckie asked.
She replied,
‘I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might s well gas up!
