Receiving rules from anybody is unpleasant, but it’s extremely challenging when they come from your son’s spouse. Jenna’s daughter-in-law believed their connection was too intimate and demanded limits, even assigning her four harsh rules to observe. Jenna was furious and sought out to us for guidance on how to handle the issue.
Here is Jenna’s letter:
My son’s wife hates how close we are. At first, she was happy when we paid for the wedding and the house. But lately, she’s saying, “He has another family now; we need to set boundaries!” I ignored her. But the last straw came when she gave me guidelines. Her 4 insulting rules were:
1. No unannounced visits – She says we must call before coming, even though it’s our son’s house too. Then, she preemptively apologizes, claiming she can only host us once a week.
2. No babysitting the newborn – She refuses to let us babysit, saying only her mom can because she’s a “nurse,” and I’m not. Ridiculous!
3. No staying over – We occasionally stay in their spare room for weekends due to the distance, but now she wants to stop that, claiming long visits are “overwhelming” for her.
4. No holiday expectations – She says she feels “pressured” to spend every holiday with us, despite years of family tradition. Now, they want to explore other options, mainly spending it with her parents. I was furious. She is clearly trying to keep my son away from us.
The worst part is that he seems to agree with her. I don’t recognize him anymore! What am I supposed to do?
