If He Says These 10 Things, He’s Manipulating You
Don’t stay in a relationship with someone who ever says any of these things to you.
1. “You’re being too emotional.”
When you are in a relationship, you should be able to freely express how you feel about a situation. Even if it is trivial, or upsetting to you, it is important that you are able to share this concern with your partner and get some reassurance.
But toxic partners are unable to deal with the fact that they have caused your upset, and instead of accepting this and resolving it, they will blame you and your “problems.”
2. “Your feelings are not valid.”
Some partners will not openly say this, instead they will use phrases like “you shouldn’t be so upset” or “it’s no big deal”. But it is a big deal and you are allowed to be upset about it. By removing his feelings, it eliminates any guilt on his part that allows him to continue to be a jerk and not consider how his actions will affect you.
3. “I didn’t say that.”
Toxic partners weave webs. They will say one thing during an argument or when trying to get out of something and then do it again later when you call them out of it. They will claim they never said that, they misheard. Obviously they didn’t hear it.
You’ll wonder, you’ll wonder if they didn’t say any of that. It’s another way to lose your foundation during an argument, because you’re so busy trying to figure out if they’re right.
4. “I can’t do anything right.”
Playing the victim means you’ll feel sorry for them and suddenly, you don’t want to fight anymore. You will realize that you were being unreasonable and apologize for trying to start an argument.
5. “You never trust me.”
Sure, they only cheated on you once. Sure, you’ve only found texts to other girls a couple of times, but they’ve been ‘good’ recently. They have remained loyal, so why is it that when they act shady, you don’t believe them?
Rebuilding trust takes time. But because they blame you for having trust issues (which they caused) means that it becomes about you and your problems and insecurities, rather than the fact that they have not been able to be a decent boyfriend.
6. “But you did this.”
It may have been Facebook messages to that girl you said you didn’t like, but last year you had a message from your ex that you didn’t respond to or told a white lie about something that ultimately wouldn’t have impacted your relationship. But if you’re not perfect either, then why are you trying?
It’s the blame game. Nothing gets resolved because they’re too concerned about scoring points, even if it means making up situations.
7. “You’re the most anxious person I’ve ever dated.”
Loveable guys don’t compare you to their ex-boyfriends. Especially in a negative way. Especially during an argument. Especially over something you’re already worried about. If they decide to tell you that you are the most anxious or paranoid or insecure person they ever dated, get out of there. If someone loves you, they lift you up and support you. They love you, including anxieties and insecurities.
8. “I didn’t lie; I told you when you asked me.”
There is a huge difference between someone choosing to tell you something and you having to get it out of you. Sure, they eventually told you, but it doesn’t count if you had to ask them repeatedly.
Lying is withholding the truth and choosing not to tell you something until you have done so is a lie. Sorry.
9. “I’m going to sleep.”
I don’t know anyone who likes to go to sleep with an argument. But if a guy can roll over and go to sleep when you’re crying or angry, he doesn’t care about you. It’s another way he can control the situation, he lets you stew for hours and not sleep and then expects you to carry on as usual the next day when nothing has been resolved.
10. “I’m not willing to be in a relationship with someone who”.
A loving relationship doesn’t have ultimatums. No matter how heated the discussion, it shouldn’t result in him telling you that if you don’t change, he will break up with you. It is his way of making you believe that everything that is wrong in the relationship is your fault and that you are the only one who needs to change your behavior.
Source:wellnessmgz.com
