If you’ve been around the relationship block a few times, you know there are many traits in a partner that can turn you on, and just as many that can turn you off. The list can be endless and may change each time you date someone new. But if you’re looking for that happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship, here are a few traits that should be mandatory in your partner.
1. Mindfulness
Do they actively strive for a balance between work, life, family and wellness?
When you’re young, you can work and work and work and still have time for each other. But especially once kids come along, that all changes rapidly, so if your partner shows signs of not being able to balance work and life now while you’re both as carefree as you’ll ever be, that’s a big red flag.
Choose a partner who finds value in the “pause” — viewing time together on slower days as an opportunity to build greater connection, innovation and inspiration with each other. Being as loyal to your own leisure as you are to your work isn’t only ⓢⓔⓧⓨ, it’s healthy.
2. Trustworthy
Trust is essential. If you don’t have trust, it becomes impossible to grow into a committed relationship. How do you know if someone is trustworthy? Dependability and consistency are characteristics of a trustworthy person. Actions should also match words. If someone talks a good talk, but doesn’t walk the walk, it is a sign they are not worth trusting. Do they share their life with you and want to know more about your life? Trust comes from taking a risk with someone, then learning it was safe to take that risk.
3. Joyful independence
Do they have a happy and healthy relationship with themselves?
Self-love may seem like it’s just a trend, but it’s here to stay, and thankfully so. It’s easy to get caught up in having fun together at the start of a relationship, but it’s important to stay engaged in self-care.
If your partner doesn’t show love to themselves, it could be a sign they don’t believe in their own value as an individual, and that they may be more likely to settle for a so-so relationship than to search for their soulmate.
No matter how badly you may want this to be “the one,” settling only leads to splitsville.
4. Loyalty
Will they have your back no matter what?
As time goes on, we naturally start sharing our relationship ups and downs with the people we love the most. And while our friends and family typically mean well, they often form opinions without seeing the whole picture, choosing to hear what they want to out of the desire to “protect” you.
Will your partner have your back no matter what their own family and friends say about you? Will they trust that whatever someone outside of your relationships thinks of what you’ve said or done is that person’s biased opinion, and not necessarily a reflection of who they know you are or what they know your relationship is?
Loyal folks special people. They see you as you are and refuse to allow societal norms or the opinions of others to dictate their feelings about you.
5. Comfortable with Intimacy
Relationships require intimacy. It’s the main ingredient in a relationship that lasts. Intimacy is the experience of sharing with each other in deep, vulnerable ways. Intimacy can be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. It makes us feel we are loved, deeply and unconditionally. When you have a partner who can bare his or her heart, fears, flaws, and strengths to you, and allow you to do the same, you will find peace and security in a relationship.
If you fear the vulnerability and closeness of a relationship, it is tough to maintain for the long haul. A partner who can go there with you will provide the best opportunity for security and love.
References: meetmindful.com, myjoyonline.com
