My boyfriend slept with my best friend. How do I tell them that I know? And is there any way to salvage my friendship with my best friend after this?
My best friend slept with my boyfriend but he doesn’t know that I know.
Over the long weekend (Victoria Day) I (F24) went to visit my sister in her province. My (M26) boyfriend decided to stay home because he was behind on some schoolwork for his graduate program.
I was supposed to come home Monday but decided to leave Sunday to avoid traffic. On my drive home I picked up some food from our favourite restaurant to surprise him. I thought we could have a date night at home because most places would be packed or closed on Monday. When I got to his house I let myself in. He usually goes to the gym with his brother Sunday mornings so I knew he wouldn’t be home.
But as I’m unpacking the food in the kitchen I hear music/laughing coming from upstairs. I start up the stairs towards his bedroom which is at the end of the hallway. I walk toward the door (which is open slightly) and see my (F25) best friend of 15 years naked on top of my boyfriend. Her back is to me and he’s lying down. There’s music playing and both of them are laughing and talking.
The music is loud enough that they can’t hear me and I was looking through the crack in the door so they couldn’t see me. I start backing away quickly and quietly so they won’t know I’m there. After I leave his house I go back to my place. That same night he calls me to check in to find out how my visit is and when I would be home on Monday (I didn’t tell him I was leaving a day early). I also didn’t tell him what I knew. I kept it casual and light. That same night my best friend also texts me to find out if I want to grab dinner later in the week. I tell her yes and don’t mention what I know.
Its been a couple days since I saw them together in his bed but I haven’t said anything. I’ve had dinner with my best friend and didn’t bring it up with her. I’ve seen my boyfriend and kept my mouth shut. A part of me just wants to let it go because I don’t want to lose my best friend AND my boyfriend. I’ve known her for 15 years and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years.
A part of me believes that this was a mistake and there is no need to blow up my relationships for a drunken mistake. But then another part of me thinks they might have been seeing each other for weeks or months. But then another part wonders if he took advantage of her vulnerability because she just got out of an abusive relationship that lasted 5 years.
How do I approach this situation?
Should I tell them that I know? I would be difficult ending a relationship with someone I was planning a future with but I would do it. I feel reluctant to end a 15 year friendship with someone who I see as a sister. She’s in a vulnerable place right now which might explain her actions. I don’t want to lose her but I’m so incredibly hurt by what I saw. I could barley sit through dinner with her because all I could see was her naked on top of my boyfriend.
She’s the only friend I have that I can rely on.
My best friend has been there for me during every season of my life. I’ve known her since I was 9 years old. She was there when my dad passed away when I was 11. She helped me move across the country when I got a new job. When she finally left her abusive boyfriend I let her move in with me while she was looking for a new apartment. I don’t have a close relationship with my mom (we barely speak) and my sister lives in another province. She’s the only friend I have that I can rely on.
How do I approach this situation?
Source:reddit.com
