Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night. Look at that moon! ”The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend.
“You are wrong. That’s not the moon; that’s the sun! ”Both continued arguing for awhile when they came upon another drunk walking along. So they stopped him and said, “Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining. Is it the moon or the sun? ”The third drunk look at the sky and then looked at them and said, “Sorry, I don’t live around here.”
Three elderly men are at the doctor’s office for a memory test.
The doctor asks the first man,
“What is three times three?”
“274,” came the reply.
The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to the second man,
“It’s your turn. What is three times three?”
“Tuesday,” replies the second man.
The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man,
“Okay, your turn. What’s three times three?”
“Nine,” says the third man.
“That’s great!” says the doctor. “How did you get that?”
“Simple,” he says, “just subtract 274 from Tuesday.”
