A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from pest-control company.
One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.
“Quick,” said the woman to her lover, “into the closet!”, and she pushed him int closets tark undressed.
The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the the man in the closet. “Who are you?” he asked him. “I’m an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,” said the exterminator.
What are you doing in there?” the husband asked. I’m investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,” the man replied. And where are your clothes?” asked the husband. The man looked down at himself and said, “Those little bastards!”
A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane.
After a bit, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing. He starts to panic, but remembers his backup chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens…
He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail. Suddenly, he looks down and he can’t believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going up.
Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver – by this time scared out of his wits – yells, “Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?”
The other guy yells back, “No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?”