TEACHER TRIES TO ASK A QUESTION IN SUNDAY SCHOOL. AND IS SHOCKED AT THE RESPONSE.
A teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
She asked them,
“If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?
“NO!” the children answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven? “
Again, the answer was, “NO! “Now she was smiling. Hey, they’re getting it, she Again, the answer was, “NO! “Now she was smiling. Hey, they’re getting it, she thought! “Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband would that get me into Heaven?” she asked.
Again, they all answered, “NO! “She was just bursting with pride for them. “Well,” she continued, “then how can I get into Heaven? “A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.”
Phillip rather fancied himself to be quite a ladies man, so after his cruise ship sank in a storm and he found himself stranded on a deserted island with six women, he didn’t see his being shipwrecked so much as a disaster as it being the best thing that had ever happened to him.
Between themselves, they agreed that each of the six women would spend one night a week with Phillip, being the only man, leaving him with one night on his own to recover his strength.
At first, Phillip threw himself into this arrangement enthusiastically, even working on his day off, but as the weeks stretched into months, he found himself looking forward to that day of rest more and more every week.
One afternoon, many months after having been stranded on their deserted island, he was sitting on the beach and wishing that there were more men to help share his duties.
All of a sudden, he caught sight of a man waving from a life raft that was bobbing on the waves about a quarter of a mile from the beach.
Phillip quickly swam out to the raft and pulled it to shore and having got there he did a little jig of happiness.
“You can’t believe how happy I am to see you”, he cried to the man on the raft.
The man on the raft eyed him up and down, gave Phillip a wink and said, “Ooh you are a sight for sore eyes too, you gorgeous thing!”
“Oh rats”, sighed Phillip, “there go my Sundays”.
