This elderly lady went to the doctor for a checkup.
Everything checked out fine.
The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, “Doctor, I haven’t had make love for years now, and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s lovemaking drive.”
The doctor smiled and said, “Have you tried to give him pills?”
The lady frowned. “Doctor, I can’t even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache,” she claimed.
“Well,” the doctor continued, “let me suggest something. Crush the pills into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won’t notice a thing.”
The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor’s office quickly.
Weeks later the old lady returned.
She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.
“How did it go?” the doctor asked.
“Terribly, doctor, terribly.”
“Did it not work?”
“Yes,” the old lady said, “It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best lovemaking that I’d had in 25 years.”
“Then what is the problem, ma’am?”
“Well,” she said. “I can’t ever show my face in McDonald’s again.”
Little Johnny is sitting in class one day, and the teacher is going to go over agricultural stuff, like farms, and whatnot.
So she asks the class how does a farmer tell the weather on his farm, nobody seems to know, except of course, little johnny, who’s frantically waving his hand with the answer, so she decides to let him try to answer the question.
Little Johnny says: the farmer uses a weather vane to tell the weather!”
ok, that wasn’t so bad, so the teacher then asks the class what kind of animal is the weather vane?
again no one but little Johnny seems to know the answer.
Reluctantly she lets him answer.
Little Johnny says with a big smile on his face: “why teacher, it’s a cock!”,
well the teacher sighs to herself well after all it is.
So next the teacher asks the class:
” can anyone tell me why does the farmer use a cock on the barn as a weather vane?”
Of course, the same dumb blank look on all of the kid’s faces, except of course, for little Johnny,
again she reluctantly allows him to answer the question, knowing she’s probably not gonna like the way he phrases it.
Little Johnny stands up in front of the whole class and sez with a really big grin on his face:
“It’s a cock, cuz as everyone knows if it were a c*nt, the f*cken wind would just blow right thru it!”
