Son: “Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl!” Father: “That’s great, son! Who is she?” Son: “It’s Sandra, the neighbor’s daughter.”
Father: “Ohhh, I wish you hadn’t said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.”
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!”
Father: “That’s great, son! Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Angela, the other neighbor’s daughter.”
Father: “Ohhh, I wish you hadn’t said that. Angela is also your sister.”
This went on a few more times, and finally the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: “Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls and I can’t date any of them because dad is their father!”
The mother hugs him affectionately and says, “You can date whoever you want. He isn’t your father!”
An old lady was stopped and pulled into a parking space. A young man in his new red Mercedes immediately went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for.
So upset was the little old lady that she went up to the man and said,
“I was going to park there!”
The man was a real smart alec and he said,
“That’s what you can do when you’re young and bright.”
Well, this really upset the lady even more.
Therefore she got in her car and backed it up and she then stomped on the gas and ploughed straight into his Mercedes.
“What did you do that for?”, the young man ran back to his car and asked.
The little old lady just smiled and told him,
“That’s what you can do when you’re old and rich!”
Next story
An Old Lady Went To The Grocery Store.
A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket.
She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl,
“Nothing but the best for my little kitten.”
The girl at the cash register said,
“I’m sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat.”
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.
The next day, the old lady went to the store and bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies.
The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food.
Frustrated she went home, came back and brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid.
The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole.
The cashier said, “No, you might have a snake in there.”
The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her.
So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, “That smells like crap.”
The little old lady grinned from ear to ear,
“Now, my dear, can I please buy three rolls of toilet paper?”
Never fool around with a Little old lady!
