A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him,
“If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?
”Johnny says, “None.”
The teacher asks, “Why? “
Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.”
The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.”
Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?”
The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.”
Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”
Grandpa was showing little Johnny around the farm, and when they come to the corral, he explained,
“That’s a bull and a cow, and he’s serving her.”
A little later on, they saw horses.
Then Grandpa said,
“That’s a stud and a mare, and he’s serving her, too.”
That night at supper, after everyone was seated and grace was said,
Grandma turned to Grandpa and said,
“Will you please serve the turkey?”
Little Johnny jumped up and yelled,
“If he does, I’m eating a hamburger!”
Little Johnny Was Sitting In Class
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally.
The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?”
And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!”
And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.”
Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?”
and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!”
And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.”
Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says,
“If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!”
And the teacher faints.
