I was on the subway today, and something happened that really made me think. A pregnant lady got on, looking incredibly tired, as if she had been on her feet all day. She obviously needed a seat, but the train was crowded. She noticed a young guy sitting down, completely absorbed in his phone. She approached him and asked, ‘Excuse me, could I sit down? I’m really tired.’
The young man gave her a brief glance and replied dismissively, ‘Sorry, I got here first. ’At that moment, an elderly man with a cane slowly stood up and said to the woman, ‘Dear, please take my seat. You need it more than I do.’ She thanked him and sat down, looking visibly relieved. The old man then turned to the young guy and said in a clear, firm voice, ‘Are you a man, son?’ The younger man looked up, slightly confused, and responded, ‘Yeah.’ The old man retorted, ‘I don’t think so. Just having something between your legs doesn’t make you a man. A real man helps those in need and offers strength and support to those who require it. And as we can all see, you’re not showing us that today.’ The young guy’s face turned red. He didn’t say anything but seemed to think deeply about it. The subway journey continued, and everyone in the carriage seemed to be silently reflecting on the old man’s words.
A guy walked into a bar with a monkey.
The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them.
Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them. He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed one of the balls.
To everyone’s amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow swallowed it whole.
The bartender looked at the guy and said, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
“No, what?”
“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table – whole!”
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy, “he eats everything in sight, don’t worry, I’ll pay for the cue ball.”
The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for the stuff the monkey ate and left.
Two weeks later the guy came back and had his monkey with him.
He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar.
The monkey found a cherry on the bar.
He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out and then ate it.
Then the monkey found a peanut and again stuck it up his butt, pulled it out and ate it.
The bartender asked, “Did you see what that filthy ape just did?”
“No, what?” asked the man.
“Well, he stuck both a cherry and a peanut up his arse, then he pulled them out and ate them.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy.
“He’ll eat anything, but ever since he had to sh!t out that cue ball, he measures everything first.”
🤣🤣
