Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.
Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to him and said, “Don’t you know who I am? “The man replied, “Yep, sure do. ”Satan asked, “Aren’t you going to run? “Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man. Satan asked, “Why aren’t you afraid of me? “The man replied, “Been married to your sister for over 48 years.”
Three construction workers are sitting down on a beam of a skyscraper to eat their lunch…
The First guy says,
“Tuna fish on rye again? I tell ya. If that b!tch makes me tuna fish on rye again tomorrow, I’m just going to jump off this building and kill myself!”
Second guy says,
“Leftover meatloaf for the third day in a row! If I gotta eat this crap one more day, I’m just going to jump off this building and end it all!”
the Third guy says,
“Bologna sandwiches again! Yuck! If I gotta eat this shit one more time, I’m just gonna jump.”
The next day, the first guy opens his lunch.
He sees it’s a tuna on rye, and he yells,
“F*CK!!!” and he jumps off the building and splatters on the street below.
The second guy opens his lunch box.
“Goddamn meatloaf again! That’s it!”
And he leaps to his death as well. Splat!
The third guy opens his lunch box.
“F*CK!” he says. “Bologna! Goodbye, world!”
And he steps off the girder too.
A moment later, he splatters on the street below.
At the funeral, the widows are sobbing and crying to the heavens.
“Oh, Joe! If you’d only you’d told me you didn’t like tuna fish! I would have made you something else!” And she breaks down, inconsolable.
The second widow tears at her shirt.
“Bill! Dear sweet Bill! Why didn’t you tell me you hated meatloaf so much! I had a fridge full of cold cuts of all types!”
And she collapses to the floor, heartbroken.
Everybody looks at the third widow, sitting there knitting all by herself.
She looks up and realizes they’re staring.
“Don’t look at me,” she says.
“That idiot packed his own lunches.”
